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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/29581005">Phinks is a pretty good singer</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/lively_grimoire/pseuds/lively_grimoire'>lively_grimoire</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Hunter X Hunter</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Attempt at Humor, Attempt at Worldbuilding, Chapter 2 is just turning into Nobunaga slander I'm so sorry, Dinosaurs, M/M, Phinks does some dumb shit episode 392, Please how does tagging work, idk what I should be tagging, will update tags as I go I guess</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>In-Progress</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2021-02-20</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2021-02-21</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-15 23:59:58</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Not Rated</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>2</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>6,646</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/29581005</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/lively_grimoire/pseuds/lively_grimoire</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>The troupe meets up to help Franklin with a job.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>**This is my first fic, please assault me in the comments. I want to know everything I've done wrong so I can get better.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Feitan/Phinks (Hunter X Hunter)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>9</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>13</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. Chapter 1</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Feitan was tired. </p><p>It was a Tuesday evening and only half of the troupe had shown up even though Franklin had sent out an open invitation, which meant it was going to be tough since Franklin never took on jobs that he couldn’t handle alone, and Nobunaga was one of the ones to come along so there wasn’t even going to be any sort of hope for some damn peace and quiet before- Feitan shut his eyes.</p><p>He breathed in. He breathed back out again. </p><p>Still exhausted.</p><p>Opening his eyes just a crack and looking askance, Feitan briefly considered the benefits of slipping back out the doors before the mission started and just hoping that nobody had noticed he was ever there in the first place. It wouldn’t be impossible; Nobunaga and Franklin had already got into a physical fight by the time he’d arrived, Kalluto was successfully distracted by said fight, and Shalnark and Shizuku were in a corner (made out of books and blankets) together talking about whatever it is that Shalnarks and Shizukus like to talk about – Feitan wouldn’t know, he’s gotten pretty good at tuning out a lot of what they say and only picking out relevant information. It’s called only listening to every third sentence; works like a charm. Phinks and Chrollo were usually the only ones who actually kept track of who came through the door as well, but neither had responded to Franklin’s message so it would be safe to assume that they weren’t coming. Sucks. They always make everything better.</p><p>Feitan went through this thought process, but ultimately decided that, no, he probably shouldn’t leave the others to the potential danger that was themselves when the job hadn’t even been fully explained yet, and resigned himself to what was going to be a painful and mediocre use of his time. Motherfucking Kalluto, being so young and shit. It was his fault that Feitan needed to stay behind and protect everyone. Motherfucking kids.</p><p>Feitan glared at the side of his head as he walked forwards to the centre of the temple and sat on what looked to be a sacrificial table made entirely of gold. The action caused the Zoldyck to tense slightly and look across at him warily. Good. Feitan hates kids. </p><p>Deigning to take mercy and not burn a hole through one side of Kalluto’s admittedly perfect hair, Feitan took his eyes off the child and looked around the room. It was a large circular space made entirely of sandstone, decorated intricately in swathes of gold, and with a high domed roof. There was hole at the peak of the dome, roughly two metres wide and about twelve metres off the ground, as well as large ceiling to floor gaps on opposing side of the area that were supported with intermittent pillars. This would usually seem unsafe to Feitan, but his nerves were eased somewhat by the fact that they were in just one of nine celestial temples, forgotten by man, in a desert country that only had mist beneath the high ledges of each temple in the semi-circular arrangement of said buildings. The only real entrance to the space was through the set of massive doors that proved there was indeed an end to the ridiculous amount of stairs that one needed to climb to reach each temple.</p><p>Hence why Feitan was tired. Also the general lack of sleep he received while trying to get here on time from the other side of the world. That could also be it.</p><p>Or maybe the general sense of weariness was from the droning voices of the two smarter-than-thou pricks over there, whatever sounds were coming out of Nobu’s oh-so-punchable face, and the knowledge that Phinks would murder him with his own umbrella if Kalluto got so much as a scratch on his cheek. Yeah. That made more sense.</p><p>Oh well, this probably couldn’t be as bad as some other jobs he’d taken. This wasn’t a bad place to rest, and those golden murals looked pretty as they reflected pink and amber rays from the slowly setting sun. Thinking about it, that hole in the roof was probably for something to do with the light at its brightest rather than serving as a passage for intruders. Phinks would probably have some theory about it, like the nerd he secretly is. Fuckin’ nerd.</p><p>It’s a shame he’s not here, actually. He’d probably like it, would probably pick up every shiny ornament he could and analyse the drawings etched into them, figure out what exactly the practices and beliefs and dress code for this ancient mystery cult really are.</p><p> </p><p>Nerd.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Feitan is about to find something else to do, maybe find a book or sketch some details about the place, when Franklin stops sitting on Nobunaga and announces exactly what they’re all here for. Finally. Feitan could use a distraction from the weird ache in his bones and the fog covering his mind.</p><p>Franklin stands up and everyone else sits down. General shit follows. This place is a disputed borderland between two warring empires. This is the only one of the nine temples that has been documented both safely and successfully. The mist is dangerous but no one’s survived to figure out why. On top of the already hefty reward, the troupe can keep whatever stuff they find in any of the temples if they can manage to clear some of the mist and -</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>I don't really give a damn about the way you touch me<br/>
When we're alone.</em>
</p><p> </p><p>…</p><p>The fuck??</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>You can hold my hand<br/>
If no one's home.</em>
</p><p> </p><p>What the fuck is that??</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>Do you like it when I'm away?</em>
</p><p> </p><p>Is that-?? No, he’s-<br/>
No way. Not in this reality.</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>If I went and hurt my body, baby<br/>
Would you love me the same?</em>
</p><p> </p><p>Everybody in the room is staring at the door now, wondering pointlessly who the hell would be stupid enough to show up <em>half an hour late</em> singing a Ricky Montgomery song like they haven’t got a care in the world. The staring is pointless because the voice is pretty recognisable, but they are staring anyway in the baffled hope that it’s actually someone they’ve never met before that they can just get rid of, rather than the obvious and well-known answer that <em>Phinks is a fucking dumbass</em> who is going to get bullied mercilessly as soon as he opens the metaphorical and physical floodgates that currently block him from sight.</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>I can feel all my bones coming back<br/>
And I'm crrraving motion<br/>
Mamaneverreallylearns how to live by herself</em>
</p><p> </p><p>The doors start to open.</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>It's a cuuuurse</em>
</p><p> </p><p>Slowly.</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>And it's grooowwing</em>
</p><p> </p><p>Really slowly.</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>You're a pooond and I'm an oceaan</em>
</p><p> </p><p>Feitan is on the edge of his seat.</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>Ohhhhhhhh, all my emoootions</em>
</p><p> </p><p>Slow enough for Feitan to realise that this unreasonable anger he is feeling is probably the second stage of grief, and that he is feeling grief because he is mourning Phinks’ social life.<br/>
Slow enough for everybody to see that the moron in question actually has his eyes shut and is wearing over ear headphones with <em>cat ears</em> on them that are blasting music so obnoxiously loudly that he can’t even hear the ludicrous sound of Shalnark barely trying not to laugh at him.</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>Feel like explosions when you are around<br/>
And I've founddd a way to kill the soouunds, ohhhh</em>
</p><p> </p><p>It’s ridiculous. So utterly ridiculous. Shalnark’s snort has turned into a high pitched shrieking kind of giggle that is causing him to shake so much that Shizuku, staring blankly next to him, is <em>also vibrating</em>, while Kalluto and even Franklin are doing their best strangled chipmunk impression and somehow Nobunaga has managed to stretch his eyes open nearly as wide as his guffawing mouth, which is when Feitan turns back around only to find that Phinks is no longer where he was before, he has shut the double doors behind him and has actually started -</p><p>Dancing?? Is that dancing??? It certainly looks dramatic enough to be considered <em>some</em> kind of art form. </p><p> </p><p>
  <em>Oh, baby, I am a wreck when I'm without you<br/>
I need you here to staaaay</em>
</p><p> </p><p>Feitan’s attention is suddenly drawn to the goddamn Walkman that Phinks is clutching within his grasp and using as a makeshift microphone, while his other hand is apparently trying to drag all the air away from his chest by using brute strength alone. What the fuck. What the fuck?? Where did he even get that???</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>I broke all my boooones that day I found you<br/>
Crying at the laaaake</em>
</p><p> </p><p>Feitan is faintly aware of the fact that he is also producing a sort of howling cackle that could be mistaken for a laugh over the general ambience of six murderers trying and failing to keep their shit together while a seventh murderer is turning in circles and emotionally serenading a Walkman, or maybe whoever he imagines can possibly keep up with the weird Madonna style steps he is taking backwards in no perceived direction.</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>Was it something I said to make you feel like you're a burden?<br/>
Oh, and if I could take it all baack<br/>
I swear that I would pull you from the tiiide</em>
</p><p> </p><p>Feitan’s limbs have all been rendered useless. He has no idea how the others are reacting to this anymore because his arms have collapsed beneath him, his lungs have handed in a letter of resignation to his brain and the muscles in his neck are straining to even keep his head pointing in the direction of Phinks’ tanned and muscular back. How has the idiot not noticed yet? Is he doing this on purpose???</p><p>
  <em>
    <strong>OH, WOAH, WOAH, WOAH</strong>
  </em>
</p><p>HOLY FUCK he’s actually hopping backwards on one foot. Jesus Christ, stop, please stop, Feitan is not above begging at this point, he is at the third stage of grief and is willing to exchange Literally Anything in return for Bonolenov to give this man some dance lessons. Feitan can’t fucking breathe, if this was all just an elaborately planned attempt on his life he’s willing to accept his own demise please just hurry up and murder him already because forcing him to repeatedly choke on his own tonsils is a form of torture that not even he has considered before.</p><p>
  <em>I SAID NO <sup>(I said no)</sup>, I SAID NO <sup>(I said no)</sup><br/>
Listen close, it's a NO<br/>
The wind is a-pounding on my back<br/>
And I found hope in a heart attack<br/>
Oh at last, it is past<br/>
Now I've got it, and YOU CAN’T HAVE IT</em>
</p><p>Feitan is absolutely sure that his brain is deprived of oxygen now, because the more he listens, the more it actually starts to sound good?? Even despite the fact that Phinks has turned around now so his scrunched up face and grabbing heart movements have been laid bare to the whole world, Feitan sort of doesn’t want him to stop? Ever? Feitan’s body is still heavy beneath him but he also hasn’t felt this light in several weeks and has been in dire need of an energy boost for far too long before Phinks swooned his way into the forefront of his mind.</p><p>
  <em>Baby, I am a wreck when I'm without you<br/>
I need you here to stay<br/>
I broke all my bones that day I found you<br/>
Crying at the lake</em>
</p><p>The words are so gentle, so passionate and destructive, so unbearably <em>Phinks</em> that Feitan isn’t sure he’s ever going to stop feeling this way, like he could laugh for days on end and still not be tired. He doesn’t want to stop feeling the way that Phinks surely isn’t aware he manages to make him feel, like he’s punched in the gut by Ripper Cyclotron and all of his insides have turned into mush that can never be recovered. Feitan seems sullen on the outside but his emotions really are like explosions, violent and all-consuming in a way that he is certain Phinks can relate to, but he’s never been quite convinced if Phinks also starts to feel less like a bomb and more like a firework whenever they’re together. Doesn’t matter. Phinks looks so stupidly tender and careful that Feitan finally gives up and falls off the ritual table and onto the ground, curling his arms and knees up into his chest because his neurons can’t persuade his fingers to grab his bandana and hide the massive grin that’s set up shop in both his heart and his expression and is refusing to vacate from its newly stolen property.</p><p>
  <em>Was it something I said to make you feel like you're a burden, oh<br/>
And if I could take it all back<br/>
I swear that I would pull you from the tide</em>
</p><p>Phinks is still singing, still dancing, but everything about it seems more controlled now than the previous wild expressions of- whatever combination of desires and restrictions that Phinks has never been able to communicate properly. It’s like he’s winding down from a high and is just left with the pleasant after effects. Or perhaps preparing to receive even more of that feeling, judging from the way he steels his core and opens his chest up.</p><p>
  <em>Darling, when I'm fast asleep</em>
</p><p>Feitan watches closely as Phinks builds up his voice, paying close attention to the terseness around his eyes that suggests he’s really feeling what he’s singing.</p><p>
  <em>I've seen this person watching me</em>
</p><p>Feitan watches Phinks’ free hand come up to gesture by the side of his face,</p><p>
  <em>Saying, "Is it worth it?</em>
</p><p>Watches as his shoulders slowly hunch in on themselves before the crescendo,</p><p>
  <em>Is it worth it?</em>
</p><p>Watches as his chin lifts up and the last of the dying light catches beautifully on the harsh lines of his face,</p><p>
  <em>Tell me, is it worth it?" </em>
</p><p>And he listens as Phinks launches into a truly impressive note that lasts a lot longer than Feitan could ever hope to last and sounds so much more lovely than anything he has ever spoken in any language. It’s the only thing he can hear and the only thing he’s ever going to need to hear.<br/>
Feitan’s grin has now grown and aged and evolved into something not entirely different but not entirely the same as he thinks that, maybe, the light surrounding his partner like a halo isn’t beautiful, but maybe it’s Phinks himself that is so rewarding and gorgeous to just be around.</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>Guess there is something, and there is nothing<br/>
There is nothing in between</em>
</p><p>Phinks’ eyes open slightly as he gazes at the ceiling and continues the song in a vague, sort of dreamy tone and his wonderfully awful dancing is now nothing more than feet shuffling from side to side and perhaps in a very slow circle.</p><p>
  <em>And in my eyes, there is a tiny dancer<br/>
Watching over me, he's singing</em>
</p><p>Phinks’ eyes travel lower to the ground as he sways to the music only he can hear, and his expression shifts slightly into something Feitan is sure he’s seen before but he’s not sure where.</p><p>
  <em>"She's a, she's a lady, and I am just a boy"</em>
</p><p>That expression is so familiar, Feitan just can’t recall where it’s from.</p><p>
  <em>He's singing, "She's a, she's a lady, and I am just a line without a hook"</em>
</p><p>It’s a very gentle expression, a smile that seems like it’s holding up the weight of his entire body and is fuelled from a place that is guarded and tucked away so deeply inside his chest that Feitan half believes it might be hiding a shining treasure. </p><p>Phinks’ eyes make their way across the floor and find Feitan’s feet as his circular motions drift to a natural end.</p><p><em>Baby, I am a wreck when I'm without you</em><br/>
He’s still wearing that smile, but his eyes look brighter as he traces Feitan’s figure.<br/>
<em>I need you here to stay</em><br/>
Phinks’ posture is completely relaxed and at ease for the moment when their eyes meet, and Feitan wants nothing more than for him to be this open all the time and-<br/>
<em>I broke all my bones that day I found you</em><br/>
Oh.<br/>
<em>Crying at the lake</em><br/>
Feitan knows where he recognises that smile from.<br/>
<em>Was it something I said to make you feel like you're a burden,</em><br/>
He’s also wearing it.<br/>
<em>And if I could take it all back,</em></p><p>
  <em>I swear,</em>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <em>I would-</em>
</p><p>Phinks freezes.</p><p>The world crashes to a halt.</p><p> </p><p>The moment is gone and Phinks’ eyes widen comically as his entire body tenses up in an obvious manner. Their undiscussed staring match is broken as Phinks gingerly removes one half of the headphones from his ear and glances around him, and suddenly Feitan is also back in reality. He too is subjected to the annoying shrillness of Shalnark and Shizuku leaning so hard against each other that they could fuse and no one would notice, the loud mockery of Nobunaga and Franklin who have put aside their differences and joined sides for once specifically to tease the pink-tinged face of the man in front of him, the unabashed and slack-jawed staring of Kalluto who honestly isn’t really that annoying but is on Feitan’s mental hitlist anyway simply by rights of being under the age of 18. Feitan’s not really sure how he managed to forget they were all there because <em>god</em> they are <em>really fucking loud</em> but he managed it anyway and now he has to deal with the consequences of rediscovering everything he hates about Nobunaga’s voice, which is awful because it seems to grate on his nerves more now than it ever did before.</p><p>He should fix this.</p><p>Sighing once more, Feitan stands up and prepares to do the responsible, adult thing and <em>fuck it Phinks is so easy to rile up he’s just asking for it at this point.</em></p><p>Crashing into Phinks’ side hard enough to nearly knock both of them over, Feitan leers over him like the menace he is and becomes the leading militia in this verbal firing squad. Moron. Should’ve known better than to think he could act all soft like that and not get ripped apart ruthlessly by the vultures that were currently preying on his hubris.</p><p>Bullying Phinks and making him blush harder than he probably ever has before takes absolute priority over whatever it was Franklin had planned, so Feitan goes with the flow and takes his time methodically tearing apart every single argument he tries to defend himself with and every emotion his face dares to betray.</p><p> </p><p>The job can wait, this will always be far more important.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. Chapter 2</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>this chapter feels a little... dry??to me? idk I've been trying to get it to be a little more coherent but nothing much happens in this part, so I'll try to get a third chapter up by tonight. Try being the keyword lmao.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>An hour later than the planned briefing time, Phinks’ hubris successfully bruised, a professional atmosphere has finally returned and Franklin gives a proper rundown of the mission details. There’s a lot of politics involved that Feitan doesn’t really care to listen to, and is sure Franklin only included because it would interest Shizuku and maybe Kalluto, but the main gist of the job is to fight everything you see in the mist and pick up any creepy glowing amulets you might find. Explore the other temples at the end and pick up anything that takes your fancy.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Seems simple enough, so simple actually that Feitan wonders why exactly Franklin needed to send an open invitation instead of just calling a few individuals. Is he deliberately holding back information about the lethality of whatever is in the mist? What about this place was so interesting to him anyways? </p>
<p> </p>
<p>Whatever, Feitan is feeling mentally refreshed and just needs to fight something right now. Phinks will help him out if things truly go South; they’re a deadly combination when paired up together. </p>
<p>Speaking of pairs, looks like Kalluto has chosen to go with Nobunaga for this run. Huh. That’s an odd collaboration. Or maybe it’s not – Feitan still doesn’t know what the kid can really do, which irks him a little bit but not massively. He’ll find out in time. That leaves Shalnark to either tag along with Franklin and Shizuku, who have partnered up because of their steady friendship and complementary abilities, or with him and Phinks, who had moved to stand next to each other before the debriefing even got underway. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>Shalnark picks neither of the given choices and opts instead to complain about how sad he is that nobody loves him, despite the fact that the grin on his face is definitely bigger than it was five minutes ago. Whiny bastard. If he was really as unlikeable as he <em>would not stop</em> loudly thinking then he wouldn’t even be able to bitch about it right now. Feitan’s neutral scowl becomes slightly more pronounced as he silently wishes he would just shut up already. A derisive snort from somewhere slightly above him confirms that Phinks is in agreement.<br/>Nobunaga punches Shalnark in the back of the head and the bowl cut blonde is left sprawled across Shizuku’s lap, which solves that point of debate. Feitan even considers politely applauding, but then he remembers he’d rather lick the undersides of Bonolenov’s discarded toenails that he keeps in a box somewhere than compliment Nobunaga, so instead he turns around and walks towards the hole-in-the-wall-which-might-be-a-window situation to indicate the direction he’s chosen to move off in. Phinks follows without complaint, so that’s the direction they’ll be going. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>One might consider moving through creepy desert mist during night time a difficult feat due to the lack of light, but this will not be a problem as far as Feitan can see because the mist apparently glows in the dark. How considerate of the mist.</p>
<p>Feitan is about to jump off and let gravity take him to the ground, but Phinks looks behind them towards Kalluto and Nobunaga, who have apparently also chosen to come this way. Not a problem, Feitan is sure that he and Phinks could outrun them any day. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>“You gonna be alright, kid?” Phinks drawls without actually sounding concerned. Kalluto may not have grown up in the unbreathable air of Meteor City, but he has probably had equal exposure to noxious gases all the same. Feitan is sure he’ll be fine.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“I can handle it,” the Zoldyck replies primly.</p>
<p>The child’s face is hidden behind his paper fan, but it’s obvious that he’s a little unhappy at having been singled out, despite the good intentions. Feitan should say something before his regard for Phinks as a respectable source of strength can drop even further than it already has today. Something short and sage that will rescue his partner’s battered ego while also managing to-</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Ha! Don’t look so put out, short stuff. You’ll have to keep up with me before you can even think about showing Phinks what you’re made of!” Or that could happen. Nobunaga could grin and say that. It’s perfectly fine if the only samurai to ever wear lycra biker shorts is currently laughing obnoxiously and stroking his chin while three different people frown at him. That’s totally fine.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>To be fair to the man, it probably wasn’t his intention to compare Kalluto to Phinks. He probably wanted to make himself look better in front of their most impressionable recruit – which would explain that stupid smirk he has no right to be wearing – but he said what he said anyway and now he’s already decided that he’s going to be taking the direction that Feitan wanted to go in. Great. Fucking unobservant bastard.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>...</p>
<p> </p>
<p>The air is a little awkward in the wake of Nobunaga’s dramatic eagle dive off the side of the cliff - sword drawn and everything - so Feitan lightly coughs and tries to give Kalluto a <em>look</em>. The kid seems to get it, so the situation proves to have actually resolved itself when Kalluto lightly taps Phinks’ bicep with his fan and follows after the guy who Feitan has always thought looked like a Magic-Mike-style stripper Samurai. If you’re into that kind of thing. And have watched Magic Mike. Phinks is speaking again so Feitan should probably respond and ditch this mental conversation that he’s having with the third sandstone pillar on the left.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“That bastard took our route, Fei. Fuckin’ prick.” The blonde grumbles. “Wanna just head off to another temple? That one off in the distance looks alright.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Second before last? Seems good.” And then they’re gone. Phinks is falling next to him with his legs locked out and his hands shoved in the pockets of his black Givenchy tracksuit, causing his weight to act more uniformly so he can reach the ground first. Everything’s a competition with this guy, isn’t it? Feitan sort of forgot that after being distracted by his earlier stunt, so he decides to pull his umbrella out and slow down just to spite the blonde giant.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Phinks fails to notice that Feitan is no longer accelerating at the rate of gravity and instead seems to be grinning wider as he gains momentum. Moron is gonna have some tough luck when his locked out kneecaps shatter on impact, even more so seeing as Feitan is going to land delicately on top of his paralyzed body and use it as a spring board. Feitan smiles to himself at the thought.</p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p>By the time he floats gently to the ground, Feitan has been falling for so long and the mist has become so dense that he only realizes he should close his umbrella when his foot touches Phinks’ shoulder and they both pretend not to flinch. It’s a little disappointing that Phinks is not suddenly a cripple who is in need of the interrogator’s skills to drag him away from whatever danger is down here, but he still gets to use his broad frame as a platform to jump down from, so Feitan chooses to ignore his partner’s impatient complaints with a sense of smug pride. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>“There you fuckin’ are! You know I was wandering around looking for you, right? I thought you’d gotten lost or been snatched outta the air by some fuckin’ fog beast or whatever, but turns out you were just practicing your Mary Poppins impression! Dickhead.” Phinks scowls at him with his arms crossed, looking like the true picture of an angry 50s housewife. He even has the insane amount of hair gel to go with it. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Seriously, Fei, what the fuck were you doing this whole time, planning a sleepover? Don’t just fuckin’ smirk at me! Get back here!” The two have been partners for most of their lives now, or at least for the most important bits, so Phinks should know by now that Feitan is in fact <em>not</em> going to Get Back Here and is probably just yelling for the sake of it. Feitan isn’t exactly sure where he’s going though, and the mist is incredibly… <em>eerie</em> in its glowing opaqueness, so he does dawdle a bit to let Phinks catch up to him. He also wonders vaguely if Kalluto and Nobunaga are alright.</p>
<p>Nobunaga may be loud and abrasive, but he couldn’t be idiotic enough to lose their youngest member during a job. Maybe. Feitan sure hopes he isn’t.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>…</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“What is this mist? Why is glowing?” Some idle conversation should calm Phinks down while they wait to bump into something. Besides, Feitan isn’t particularly excited at the prospect of losing Phinks in the disturbing aura of the fog, so keeping track of each other by sound would be a good idea.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Tch. Were you not listening to Franklin’s explanation? Don’t call me an idiot if you can’t even pay attention yourself, asshole.” Phinks starts to grumble slightly quieter than before, and Feitan suppresses a smile at how predictable he can be. Simple fool.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“When I ever call you idiot?” He says, just to be contrarian. Also because Phinks’ loud emotions made him more comfortable in the oppressive smog surrounding them – it felt too much like they were being watched. Appraised.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“All the time! Just because I’m not fluent in your language, that doesn’t mean I can’t recognize when someone’s cursing me out. And that’s not even it! You called me an idiot less than three hours ago! <em>Several times!</em>” He had, hadn’t he? Heh, good times.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“You were being idiot. You deserve it, love boy.” Phinks’ angry flush becomes an even deeper shade of scarlet as he apparently has flashbacks to when Feitan was grinning in his face, teasing him for being such a dork. The cat ear headphones were, allegedly, supposed to resemble a sphinx cat because Tall and Blonde had left all five of his different pharaoh cosplays in a storage unit. Feitan wonders if Phinks had also left the world’s supply of mirrors in the storage unit, because the man had looked truly ridiculous, just plain goofy. </p>
<p>“Whatever! Do you want my take on this mist or not? And the expression is <em><strong>lover</strong></em> boy,” is what Feitan’s partner eventually manages to retort with. The information <em>would</em> be useful, because Phinks is a lot smarter and more reliable than even he realizes, but they’ve been walking for a long time and Feitan’s urge to fight something is growing harder to ignore.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“对不起， 白痴。I say <em>lover boy</em> now.” Feitan giggles, which only serves to set even Phinks’ ears on fire as his shoulders bunch up to his chin and his knuckles turn as white as the luminous air.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“<strong><em>Watch it.</em></strong>” Is the growl he gets in response, so Feitan makes the very sensible decision to let all his inhibitions go and bully Phinks some more.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“What wrong, 白痴？You no happy with nickname? I give you new one if want,” Feitan suggests in a lilting tone, rising up on his toes and leaning away from the snarling blonde while his fingers intertwine behind his back to mitigate his excitement. The two men rarely get into physical fights due to troupe rules and a closeness between them that is reserved exclusively for each other. It’s a shame; Feitan feels such ecstasy when he gets to see Phinks let loose his primal nature.<br/>Phinks doesn’t reply, looking to be too busy trying to restrain himself and tamp down on emotions raging beneath his skin. Poor boy has been bullied to hell and back for hours, his patience must be nearly frayed by now. How cute.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Feeling too much, <em>lovely</em>?” Feitan snickers, knowing that only one more comment should be enough to set his beast over the edge. He’s going to <strong>enjoy</strong> this.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Maybe you should sing about-”</p>
<p>Feitan doesn’t manage to finish his sentence, because he is suddenly being launched sideways away from Phinks. </p>
<p>The last glimpse he gets of the man’s face is a shocked expression pointed at something that Feitan can’t see.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>The murderer steels his core and angles his body into a perfect three point landing. The hit hadn’t been that hard, but he had gotten distracted and couldn’t put his guard up before taking damage. His ribs ached and he hoped they weren’t broken, but this was no time to be worrying about himself. He’s been separated from his partner by a fairly large and/or powerful beast that he hadn’t previously detected. Fuck. He should probably practice the basics at some point. Maybe get Phinks to spar with him if they’re both alright after this.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Running towards the sounds of Phinks fighting, Feitan draws his umbrella and leaps high into the air. He can’t feel Phinks’ aura or even distinguish the mist from any living being, so he hopes that the thing they’re fighting also can’t sense him when it’s busy with his partner. </p>
<p>Feitan’s luck doesn’t pay out as he his hit once again by the thing, even when coming down at it from above, but he’s ready this time and manages to grab hold of the appendage that whacked him. It feels hard and spiky against his hands, and turning his face to look at it gives him a view of something that is indeed hard and spiky. Looks like a tail? From a very large lizard? They better not be fighting dinosaurs. Godzilla is too cool for him to want to kill it.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Brushing thoughts of Kaiju movies aside, Feitan hooks his legs around the tail and grapples his way down it. The spikes get bigger and easier to grip as he goes, so he assumes this really is some kind of overgrown Komodo dragon. He can still hear Phinks trying to punch it, but its scales are apparently very good at absorbing hits because the beast still hasn’t gone down yet. Lizards usually have some sort of soft underbelly, so Feitan tries to get closer to its torso. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>Arriving at the thing’s back – <em>finally</em>, because this creature really is too damn big – Feitan regains his balance and lightly crosses its spine in several quick steps. He is about to hook his umbrella around the definitely-a-lizard-monster so he can swing around and kick it open from its weak point, but he discovers two things that make him rethink his strategy:<br/>One; there is no soft underbelly, there is only a vast expanse of pale bumps that are leaking some kind of white liquid that Feitan should probably not touch. No wonder Phinks was avoiding its crucial areas.<br/>Two; there is already something occupying the space around the lizard’s neck. Some kind of gold chain. It seems important, but Feitan isn’t sure if he should touch that either.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Formulating a new plan, Feitan leaps up to the thing’s head and tries to stab its eyes out. His sword goes through one, but gets stuck after a certain point so Feitan has to ditch it as the Lizard’s tongue tries to pick him out of the air like a fly. He is too quick however, and slices some of the tongue off lengthways with his nails before landing on the edge of his sword. Precision is key for people like him. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>The beast howls and thrashes around at the loss of an eye and half its tongue, dislodging the sword from its head and Feitan from his perch. Falling is no matter as he uses the time to clean the blade of anything potentially corrosive, but he is somewhat surprised when he lands on an outstretched elbow instead of the ground.</p>
<p>Phinks gives him a quick glance that tells him more than words have ever been able to before they are dashing in opposite directions to attack the sides of the Lizard’s stomach, both making sure to dodge swinging claws and avoid the white substances on the ground. Pressure from either side of the spine might be enough to crack bone, no matter how strong its armor may be.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>No signal is needed before they both strike at exactly the same time, Phinks with a powerful and electrified punch and Feitan with a calculated kick that is equal in force and opposite in direction, balancing each other out. The hits may have looked light to any observers, but both packed enough force to travel up the shock absorbing scales and break off a couple of the plates that littered the beast’s back. It lets out an enraged roar at the slight, jerking its tail around in every direction but buckling under its own weight all the same. Its spine may not have broken but it is certainly bleeding from the fractured areas of its armor, so Feitan darts up the creature’s body once more to drive his sword into exposed flesh. He tries to open the wounds further, peeling more of its scales off as the Lizard screams in torment. There is blood all over his hands and cloak now as he violently and efficiently breaks the creature into pieces, ignoring the wild bucking of his kill trying to throw him off. It does not roll onto the ground though, confirming his suspicions that the white liquid its stomach is secreting should not be touched. Feeling smug with that knowledge, Feitan decides to plunge his sharpened hands directly into the Lizard’s wounds. He derives gleeful pleasure from its agony.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Phinks isn’t doing anything to help, so he must be standing off to the side to inspect the white stuff. How nice of him to let Feitan have this, especially after he’d gotten so riled up just five minutes ago. Ten minutes? Fifteen? Time tends to slip away from the torturer when he is left to his art.</p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p>When the Lizard stops twitching at last under Feitan’s heavy gaze, he flicks his hands and umbrella clean of blood before jumping down to locate Phinks. That was fun, but it would be more fun if the stupid mist had cleared while he was busy. Feitan still can’t see more than an arm’s length away from himself. And these were his own arms he was talking about, so it really wasn’t a very long distance.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>He finds Phinks by the monster’s neck standing in one of the clean patches of ground, now a rarity after Feitan’s ruthless exploits. He is staring thoughtfully at the heavy golden chain decorating the dead and quickly rotting meat, which Feitan also takes the time to observe.</p>
<p>Hanging on the chain is a glowing ornament that resembles an eyeball, a light green pearl the size of his palm that is encased in two circles of gold that revolve like a gyroscope. The pearl has something at its center that is burning like a flame, or the sun maybe, but it is hard to distinguish whether it is white or black due to how deeply it is buried in the stone. Feitan isn’t sure what this thing is, but he remembers Franklin telling them to pick up creepy glowing amulets, so it’s probably vital to the job.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Something about the way Phinks is looking at the piece stops Feitan from asking anything about it, though. He’s got a very careful expression on his face, like he’s debating something in his head. Outside interference wouldn’t be appreciated right now, so Feitan simply stands next to him in silence and watches out for any other threats in the fog. He will guard his ally the same way he trusted Phinks to guard him while he was having fun, because their friendship allows them to rely on each other while remaining independent. That’s not a type of trust that Feitan lets go of easily.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>When Phinks finally makes a move it is purposeful and confident, one hand reaching out to grab the spinning circles of gold and snap them together while his other hand lifts the chain away from the scales of the Lizard’s corpse. The entire amulet starts vibrating harshly, producing a humming sound as it does so, but the pearl also starts glowing brighter than before and soon the star that was shining in the middle of it expands and travels across the gold chains in a flash of blinding light. The ancient energy dissipates at the same time it was unleashed, leaving the chain to come undone from the beast’s neck and contract and reconnect again in a slow train around the pearl. Phinks releases the two fine circles which immediately glide into an x shape and then become still, the chain link loop that surrounds the pearl like an asteroid belt also passing over the place where they cross. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>The pearl floats down gently to rest in the blonde man’s palm, quiet at last, and the first thing he does after witnessing the dazzling display is look to Feitan and grin. Feitan can note every inch of his harsh, prideful, <em>wonderful</em> face in detail because the fog surrounding them had become less dense at some point. The previous mist is now nothing more than a haze between them, leaving only the rest of the world obscured from their vision.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>He pulls down his bandana and smiles back to the man. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>Phinks. Smarter and more reliable than even he realizes.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Ummm posted this before I could convince myself not to lol. I am begging you, if you are reading this, please tell me how to write because I do Not Know.</p></blockquote></div></div>
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